Betting
by Basco57
Summary: In which Freddie puts up with some Carly and Sam shenanigans, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he needs to start hanging out with more guys.


**Ello.  
Summary: In which Freddie puts up with some Carly and Sam shenanigans, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he needs to start hanging out with more guys.  
****Freddie PoV. ****  
A/N: Uh, random oneshot. Yeah, you know those times when you don't really wanna read anything too heavy, but you want a long random make out scene? Yeah, enjoy.  
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Hey, this is fine. This is cool. I'm not freaking out. I'm not going crazy, trippin', sweating bullets, losing my goat, strangling a squirrel…Naw! I'm cool. I'm good. I'm fine. I'm…I'm…in trouble.

Oh dear God, I'm in trouble. Big trouble. Yeah, I guess the words 'big trouble' come to mind when Carly and Sam are around. Well, these days at least.

I mean, don't get me wrong! Carly and Sam are still my best friends. I still love both of them (eh, not equally, much). I just find it impossible to be at ease while around them these days. Why, you may ask. Well, it's not just because they are girls, and I'm a guy, and we are all in that critical state of puberty, mood swings, and hormones and strange things tend to happen when you put the three of us in a room. But it's also the fact that Carly recently took an extreme interest in gambling.

You know, gambling. Like bets and stuff. And I know what your thinking. Should this really bother me? Sam and I have kind of made an art out of betting. But with Carly, it's, er, different. I mean, you guys know Carly. She tends to take things overboard. Mix that and gambling with her being somewhat neurotic, and suddenly she's dangerous. (Well, she's _incredibly_ neurotic, I just don't usually say mean things about her.)

Oh, before I continue on about new dangerous Carly, I should explain how these circumstances came about. There is this guy named Jason (_stupid _Jason) in my biology class, and Carly totally has it bad for him. Stupid Jason and his stupid half-grin, and his trendy clothes, and his flippy hair…Heh hem…Sorry. So she pursued Jason in a very Carly-ish way (and she calls me obsessive), but Jason just wasn't in to her. And why, I have no idea. How can he not be in to her? There is nothing about her that isn't appealing…well, she tends to get whiny and overbearing, but I've learned to accept and love that about her. Oh well, Jason's loss. I didn't want Carly to be with him anyways.

But for some reason, if I could make it happen, I would. Not because I enjoy watching Carly in the arms of another guy, but because I hate when Carly doesn't get what she wants. You know, it is actually quite painful for me. A): Because she is in pain, and when you love a person, you feel their pain too. B): Because, as much as _I_ want to make her happy, her just being happy is what's important. And C): Because Sam is feeling very sorry for her best friend at the moment. And how does Sam express any feeling? Yeah, by causing me physical pain.

Okay, so I bet you are wondering how Jason fits in to all of this. Well, Jason actually has the hots for Sam. I know, right? SAM! That kid doesn't know what he's getting himself into. I hope he enjoys pain and suffering. But he probably won't get to know Sam well enough to actually be graced by her aggressive ways (apparently, I know Sam too well) because Sam won't give Jason a second glance. She claims that she can never date someone who shares her hair color again after she went out with this fruit named Pete one time. Hmm, I wonder if she realizes that I don't share her hair color…Man, I missed a perfect chance for a snooty remark that would have gotten Sam all aggravated! Ah chizz…oh well. I will just accuse her of having a crush on me the next time she disses me. That gets to her every time, and I'm growing used to the pain that usually follows too. Oh, right, sorry. Back to how Jason fits into Carly's betting.

Well, since Jason had a thing for Sam (still strange), Carly feels like she needs to be more like Sam. Weird, right? Anyways, since Carly tends to steer clear of violence, overeating, and obscenity, betting was the only acceptable Sam trait for her to pick up.

So her rapacious betting with Sam had started out pretty innocent. But after the initial thrill that is betting over who would get kicked off in the next 'America Sings', and how many times Sam could call Principle Franklin 'Ted' before she was corrected, Carly was seeking more to fill her hungry betting needs.

Boys, naturally, came into question.

"Hey, Sam! I bet you I just have to bat my eyes, say, twice before Shane asks me if I got a new hair cut. If I lose, I'll buy you lunch for a week."

"And if you win…?"

"I get your checkered All-Star sneakers."

Sam hesitates at this. She holds her chucks very close to her heart. Closer to her heart than she holds most people. But, as is a well known fact, Sam just can't bring herself to back down from a bet. "Oh, you are so on, Carly!"

Then there was, "Hey, Carls. We haven't made a wager yet today. What do you say we see who Jake texts first, eh? Bragging rights rewarded?"

"You're going down, Puckett!"

And myself, being something they both have in common, naturally became one of their favorite things to bet on. And now my life is an unpredictable hell.

Example A:

"Freeeeddiiiee!"

I rush up the stairs toward the studio, and I can't help but to skip three steps at a time. It excites me when Carly sounds eager while calling my name. But when I whip open the studio door, finding Carly smiling with a stopwatch in her hands, a death curdling call sounds from down stairs.

"FREDWARD!" I can't help but to skip at least half of each flight as I rush down the stairs. Sam sounds pissed. And I like my face attached to my head. When I get down to the living room, she's standing by the TV, smirk on face, stop watch in hand. Ah. I believe I was just played like a fiddle. Carly; sugar coated, sweet, eager voice calling my name. Sam; menacing, roar for me. Wow, they know just how to get me to bend to their wills.

"Whad'ya get?" Sam asks as Carly skips down the stairs behind me.

Carly beams down at her stopwatch. "Four point six seconds," she states confidently.

Sam smiles down at her own stopwatch. "Three point nine seconds." Sam smirks, giving me a chin nod. "Thanks, dork. Who knew you being a backboneless, scared, little squirrel would come in handy someday?" Before I can come up with a suitable retort, she turns to Carly, saying, "I believe you owe me your highlight green nail polish, Carls."

Example B:

Well…I don't want to go into detail about this one. It's a stab at my manhood that I just don't want to revisit. All you need to know is it involves a wager of a bag of Fadoodles over who could pin me down faster. Sadly, I have been pinned down by both, even before this. Uh, Sam won, in case you are curious. And since it's Sam-2, Carly-none in Freddie based bets, and the gambling has brought out a psycho, careless part of Carly no one knew existed, so I'm not surprised that she's incredibly desperate to win one at this time.

It's just sad. I honestly think it's gone too far. She doesn't even care if Jason notices her anymore (well, that's good, actually). She only wants to win these days. She gets this glazed look in her eyes, and she's practically foaming at the mouth when the prospect of a possible bet comes along. It is very frightening. She's worse than Sam…which is very, _very _frightening. A crazed Carly is not a fun Carly…And she is seriously willing to give anything to win a bet at this point. In fact, she's so willing to give anything, that the following occurred.

And this is why I am in 'big trouble', as previously stated.

So I'm in the iCarly studio, fixing the TV. As of yesterday at 3:52 in the afternoon, it doesn't swing out anymore! It took me so long to get it going the first time, and now the coil is covered in peanut butter. I suspect Sam.

Anyways, I call, "Up here!" when I hear Carly searching for me downstairs. She enters the studio, closely followed by Sam. I nod to them, then turn back to the array of tools and metal parts I have spread out across the hood of the decorative half-car.

"Hey Freddie."

"'Sup, Fred-wad?"

"Hey Carly," I say, smiling warmly at her. Then I make sure to turn back to my work before acknowledging, "Sam." I continue on with my avid repair of the beloved swinging TV, assuming they didn't come up here to see me, but to rehearse or something. Still, I can feel their eyes on me. I look over to them again. Carly is going through the process of making variations of faces expressing her apparently conflicting emotions at this time. Uh, from the looks of it, she is having second thoughts. No, she's determined to get whatever is on her mind over with. Wait…she's nervous…Uh, embarrassed? Guilty? Is that anticipation, or anxiety? I don't know. Girls just get harder and harder to figure out these days.

Well, not all girls. Sam is a bit easier to read at this moment. Arms crossed. Hip checked. Nostrils flared. Freddie aimed glare set. She's pissed off. What else is new? Carly finally looks up at me, and lets out a barely audible gulp. Uh, it appears the reason for their presence may have something to do with me. And anything Carly and Sam want with me these days, if it's not food (Sam) or something about the web show (Carly. Sam typically doesn't care), then it is directly involved with betting. You can see why my patience with them is wearing thin these days.

And you may also be able to see why I become very alert as Carly hesitantly approaches me. She sits herself up on the hood of the decorative half-car, next to my lay out of polished wrenches. "So, Freddie, what are you up to?" She can't keep the shrill tone of nerve out of her voice. I have a feeling that whatever their bet may be this time, it's going to be a little different than its precedents.

"Just fixing the TV," I reply hesitantly. Then I give Sam an accusing glare, and see that her eyes are fixed intently on Carly. "It won't swing out," I continue. Carly nods like this is very valuable information. Oh, I get it. She's trying to butter me up. Hmm…will this particular bet really make me that angry?

"Well, thank you, really. Thank you for all of the stuff you do for us and for iCarly." As if to confirm her thanks, she rests one of her soft hands over mine.

"Uh, no problem?" Can you blame me for being so utterly confused right now?

Carly breaths in once, then glances back at Sam, who seems to be nodding her on. Carly exhales, looking at me again. "Uh, Freddie?" I just raise my eyebrows, too anxious and flustered due to our sudden almost hand holding to actually form words. Carly furrows her eyebrows, then blinks a few times. "Right, well," she squeezes my hand a bit tighter. "I, um, love you."

My insides flutter for a moment, my breath catches in my throat, I can feel my face warming fast. But even so, I'm not an idiot. I mean, I have been longing to hear these words from Carly for years now. But my excitement quickly vanishes. Again, I am not an idiot. This has nothing to do with Carly's real feelings, and everything to do with another bet. I am about to voice this when I am suddenly cut off.

Carly lets out a small, strangled sound, then leans in hastily, catching my mouth with her lips. She's…she's kissing me. Carly Shay is kissing me. This is the moment I've been waiting for. This is what I want more than anything in the world, right?

My still open eyes find Sam over Carly's shoulder. Sam is cracking up, but when she sees me watching her, she decides to make a little gagging gesture. Nice. Whatever, don't pay attention to Sam.

Anyway, there are more important matters at hand here. Carly's mouth moves over mine once, trying to force a reaction out of me. Okay, so this is probably the means of winning some bet, but I really want to enjoy it while it lasts. Why can't I bring myself to react? Stupid addictive gambling! Carly and I share our first kiss, and I can't contribute anything because I know she's most likely getting paid to do this.

When she realizes I won't be participating anytime soon, she pulls away. She watches me for a moment, a bit confused, and a bit angry. She squints her eyes, scrutinizing me. Then she leans in and kisses me a bit harder once. No reaction. She does it again. Nothing. She finally throws her hands up in an angry huff.

"What's wrong with you?" She crosses her arms as she jumps down from the hood and takes a step back, looking at me like I just slapped her or something. "I mean, I finally give you what you've always been begging for, and you can't even close your eyes?"

"Uh…" I shift my weight and itch the back of my head.

But her anger seems to subside as she remembers Sam. Carly turns around quickly, musing, "Alright, Sam. You're up." Yep, I was right. I am the victim of yet another famous Shay/Puckett wager.

Sam laughs, "Hah! Yeah right. I'm good."

"We made a deal," Carly warns. "And if I remember correctly, the stakes are pretty high."

Sam looks me up and down twice, then turns back to Carly. "I don't know, Carls. I don't think he's worth a pack of gum."

"We ankle shook," Carly states. "You can't back out now."

Sam finally sighs, feigning defeat. "Effing ankles shakes," she mutters, stumbling her way reluctantly toward me. She angrily kicks a bean bag to the side, then squares her shoulders toward me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I turn to Carly. "You guys can't assume that you can just come up here and make out with me. I never signed up to be your guys' little play toy." Wow, I can't believe I just said that. What kind of a teenage boy denies the opportunity to make out with two hot girls? Hmm, Sam is pretty hot. I never really thought about that. Hmm...Anyway, I still don't really want to kiss her. She's dangerous.

"Play toy, tech geek…same thing, really," Sam says shrugging. "And who said anything about making out?" She takes a step toward me, popping her knuckles in a menacing fashion.

I gulp as Carly cuts in, "Sam! You better stick to your end of the bargain, or I'll tell Spencer where ham really comes from, and you'll never find any in our fridge again!"

Sam lets out an exasperated sigh, dropping her clenched fists to her side. Heh. The hold ham seems to have on her is obnoxious yet amusing. But wait, now she has to hold up her end of the bargain…uh…gulping initiated.

She takes another step toward me, then rocks back and forth on her feet for a moment. We are close enough now that if I lean down a bit, and she happens to be rocking forward, our faces would be touching. I clear my throat. She clicks her tongue nonchalantly. Right, well, I don't know what the hell has come over me, but I kind of want to, er, make this easier on Sam. And if I have come to know Sam at all, this is the way to go about it.

"Hey, Sam, I never gave you permission to kiss me."

She snaps out of hesitation, and glares up at me defiantly, asking, "Oh really?" My snide reply is trapped in my throat as she grabs my collar, and jerks my face down to hers. Told you I knew how to make this easier for her. But, uh, she still isn't kissing me. She's just kind of leaning in, then pulling back quickly. She stands up on her toes, going back and forth between open mouth and puckered lips as her face slowly ascends toward mine. Um, I suppose it's only courteous if I meet her half way. But as I start to lean, she pulls back again. She blows a strand of hair out of her eyes, then struggles with herself for a moment. Okay, this is getting to be too much. How long am I going to have to stand here, bent down, inches away from her face like this?

She finally sighs, tightening her hold on my collar. She looks up at me, a cute scowl on her face…er, uh, not cute… Hmm, cute scowl? That's an oxymoron. I guess it's only possible for Sam. Anyways, she is just kind of glaring at me, her face traveling ever so slowly toward mine. And then…she trips at the finish line! She pulled away again! Dear God, how long is this going to last? Carly lets out an exasperated sigh. "Hurry up! We don't have all day!" It seems that me kissing Sam would suit Carly's desires at this time, and I do love filling Carly's desires. And kissing Sam doesn't seem, er, like a _complete _nightmare.

I decide to help Sam out, and I quickly close the distance between our lips, surprising a small gasp from her. I don't know if it was that gasp, or if it's just the fact that this is Sam Puckett, the girl who has been my personal tormentor for years, but there is something very exhilarating about the situation I just put myself in. I mean, Sam has, uh, a certain zing to her. She tastes like Fat Cakes and energy drinks, and then there's the thrill of her being my mortal enemy. It's probably the fact that my mother would never approve of me letting the any of the previously stated come near my mouth that I feel myself wanting more.

Oh my gosh…I want more? Of Sam? This is absurd. But, for reasons beyond me, I suddenly can't get enough of Sam. And even though I know this is just the result of another lame bet, I find myself wanting to be, er, closer to her right now. I mean, we're kissing. That's pretty close. But her lips are just kind of shoved up against mine, lacking any signs of passion. But she's not pulling back. And she's still gripping the front of my shirt, holding me in place. So, I won't pull back either. Not because I don't want to! It's just, if she can stand it, than so can I.

My hands that are resting at my sides slowly rise until they find Sam's elbows, startling her enough so her mouth makes some sort of movement. Okay, so she just twitches a bit, but hey, movement is movement. And I can't help but to get excited, and I take advantage as her mouth opens slightly. I squint and peek out at her just in time to see her open her own eyes, glaring. Fine... I pull back a bit, and we are back to our previous lips only position. But it's too late. The deed has already been done, and Sam has been known to seek revenge.

So she bites my bottom lip! Ow! I'm not gonna lie, that really hurt. Ouch, seriously. But for some reason, the strangled, and pained moan that escapes my throat at this time results in Sam gripping my shirt collar tighter. She pulls me down into her, forcing my mouth open with her own. Okay, so when she's the one taking the wheel, open mouths are okay? But I'm too, er, preoccupied to be angry right now. Sam is causing a rather suitable distraction as she runs her tongue along my bottom lip. You know, I don't think I'd mind it too much if they continue with these annoying bets.

Okay, before Sam snaps out of…Where in the hell did she learn to kiss like this? I mean, skill on this level would require some major practice. Well, maybe not for her. She catches on to things rather quickly. I hope that I can keep up. Anyways, before Sam snaps out of it, and realizes what's going on, I better stop this. Even if Sam is the one wh-who's…Seriously, she shouldn't know how to kiss the way she is. It's not right! She's the overlooked tomboy best friend of the most beautiful girl in our class!

She heaves a rough sigh, then pulls me down into her with that Sam-like force she uses on me so often. Though it typically doesn't lead to my access of her willing mouth.

Okay, but seriously, this has to stop. She'll probably hurt me after the fact, even though she's the one who insisted on it. And it's _her _stupid bet…Okay, maybe the bet isn't so stupid. I am actually kind of liking this bet…er, but it still has to stop. So I'll just push her back a bit now, not too hard. Just politely. If their bet is something along the lines of who can actually stand to kiss me, they both win. So Sam and I are done here…we're done. I should break it off now…Why can't I break it off?

Aw pixels! I can barely get myself to lean away from her. This seriously isn't right. I mean, hasn't she won her stupid little bet yet? Why isn't she pulling away? And why can't I push her away? Why do I feel the need to bring her closer? I shouldn't have the desire to wrap my arms around her and pull her in right now. I need to remind myself that this is Sam. Sam is my personal tormentor. My whip cracker. My worst enemy. My best friend (which, you know, makes this awkward). Sam is vile. Sam is rude. Sam is insane. Sam is psychotic. Sam is dangerous. Sam is…is…

Sam is sliding her hands up the front of me, resting them on my shoulders. She gives me that rough sigh again, then her hands wrap around the back of my neck, clawing at the skin there. Well, I'm going to take that as the go ahead to finally grab her by the waist and pull her in. When I am sure that there is no space between us, I come to the conclusion that neither Sam nor I is about to let go anytime soon. So, I may as well enjoy it, before we do let go…and she kills me. In fact, this could be my last act as a living person. Well better make the most of it, right?

Okay, so Sam is pushing into me in a rather harsh way right now. I really have to stand my ground so I won't fall over. Standing my ground is not easy when my knees go weak every time her mouth moves over mine. So, making the best of the last few moments I'll spend alive, I use the momentum from her latest forceful lean to turn us around. I push her forward, and we stumble a ways until she lets out a grunt as her back crashes into my tech cart. You know, I just had a feeling yesterday that it was time to tighten those screws on the breaks of my trusty cart. I'm glad I did now, because I have this crazy plan in my head to start kissing her back with twice the force she was just using on me.

But, uh, it's difficult for some reason. Like, I can tell her mouth is wearing this cute smirk, and all I want to do is bring my hands to her face and stroke her warm cheeks. So I do. And she arches her a back as my lips slowly travel to her jaw then back to her ear. This high pitched sigh escapes her throat. I smile, then move my mouth down her neck. Another strangled sigh. Ooh, I'm afraid her reluctant sighs are a bit addictive. Probably because I know she is angry with herself for letting me know that she likes what I'm doing. And pissing Sam off is definitely my favorite activity. Or if it wasn't before, it is now. Let's see, what else could I do to piss her off?

My mouth seems to find a soft spot on her collar bone. My assumptions are confirmed when she goes rigid as my lips linger there. Oh my gosh, what if I left a hickey?…She would skin me. But imagine if the guys in the AV club knew I gave Sam Puckett a hickey! Sam would die. Well, she would kill me, then she would die. Oh, but it's so tempting. I don't know why, but leaving my mark on Sam would, uh, make me proud, I guess. Like a big 'Freddie was here' sign. Yeah, it's a pride thing. I will try to resist sucking on her right now, mainly so she is merciful enough to end my life quickly whent that time comes.

Speaking of ending my life, I better keep on making the most out of my last few moments. I am wasting my time here at her collar bone. Sam thinks so too. She grabs my face in her hands, pulling me back to her lips. I slip my arms around her so I can hold her steady as I bend her back against the tech cart. Sam is reacting as enthusiastically as ever. Well, for now. I still think she's going to kill me. But hey, with the way Sam's so spontaneous and insane and, uh, flexible, I have a feeling that I will be going out in the most thrilling way possible. She bites at my bottom lip again, and my hand bunches up the hair on the back of her head. I pull at it lightly, ensuing to another rough sigh from Sam. Okay, I am alright if she kills me now.

She lets out another impatient sigh…wait, no. That was too dainty sounding to be from Sam. Oh no, I hope it wasn't from me.

Oh, right. Carly. Cary is growing impatient as she watches us. Uh, I hope she doesn't find the fact that I am more than kissing Sam back right now to be offensive. It's not Carly's fault that I didn't react like this for her. I'm just as lost right now as she is right now. All I know is that if Sam bites my lip again, I don't think I am ever going to be able--nope, I can't let go now. This is so weird. Carly, the girl who I honestly love, just kissed me. And I used the excuse that I knew this was a bet to explain why I had no desire to react. Then how do I explain my cooperation right now? Okay, I'll admit that I am more than cooperating.

Anyways, Carly seems to think that we have gone on long enough, and she starts weakly, "Guys." When nothing happens, accept I push Sam a little harder against the cart, Carly tries with a more stern tone, "Guys! Come on!" Uh, still nothing. Well, uh, nothing Carly is trying to make happen, that is. "Freddie! SAM! Seriously!" Okay, Carly really wants me to pull away now. So, uh, here I go… Nope, Sam won't loosen her grip. Oh well. We had a good run there trying.

"Hey Sam, Spencer just got home from the grocery store!" Wow, even with the mention of freshly packaged food, and Sam is still wrapped up in me. She must really want to get the best of me before she ends my life. I'm glad we have come to a mutual agreement here. Now if we could just agree on where my lips should go. I just give her one kiss on the jaw, then she's smacking my cheek and forcefully placing my face where she thinks it should stay at her lips. Wow, she is somehow just as obnoxious as she is in a fight.

"Sam, I didn't know that you and Freddie were in love," Carly blurts out in a cynical tone.

Her words definitely get through to Sam this time. She immediately detaches her mouth from mine, glances at Carly, then looks back to me and gives me one hasty kiss before shoving me away. "That's not true!" she yells at Carly, attempting to straighten out her unruly hair. "I-I just wanted to win the bet." Told you it was a bet.

Carly rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just had to get you off him." Then she snorts, "Heh, YOU being in love with FREDDIE? Trust me, I know that would never happen."

Sam straightens her shirt, then my colloar, then lets out a loud, bellowing laugh. "Ha! Yeah, it's about as likely as YOU being in love with Freddie!" They laugh heartily together for a moment, holding on to each other in order to stay up right. I'm feeling a bit used. There must be a threatening expression on my face, because they both glance at me and shut up immediately. Carly shifts her weight and itches her head. Sam looks at me, then at the floor, then around the room as she clicks her tongue casually.

"You taste like trans fat," I inform her.

Sam immediately snaps out of indifference, glaring me down. "Yeah, and you taste like dork, but you don't see me crying," she hisses, wiping the backside of her hand across her mouth, and spitting on the floor at my feet.

"Sam!" I start, not exactly sure what I'm going to say, but I know that I need a ready comeback in order to keep up with her. "You…you…" Gah, my thoughts are so clouded. Is it a bad thing that I want grab her right now and pick up where we left off? She crosses her arms and throws her hip to the side, cocking and eyebrow with an amused expression. Actually, there's no use fighting it. I'm still convinced she's going to kill me when the fact that we just made out sinks in, so why not?

Luckily, as I'm beginning my hasty stride toward Sam, Carly cuts me off. "There will be no strangling today, Freddie." Then she sees the hungry look in my eyes as I try to dodge past her toward Sam. I wonder if she knows my intentions have nothing to do with strangling. "You better not push your luck, Freddie," she warns, putting her hands on my chest and forcing me back a few steps. "Sam's going to be pissed off because she lost the bet."

Then things finally sink in for Sam. "Shit, you're right." She kicks at the ground. "I kissed the damn dork for nothing!" She glares at me with dagger eyes. I gulp.

"Does experience count for nothing?" I ask her, mainly to act natural with my ready retort. Then I realize something. "Wait, you lost the bet? You won!" I look at Carly. "Right? I mean, uh, she kind of…uh, well we…more than you and me…uh-,"

"Don't hurt yourself there, Fredward," Sam smirks, shoving a hand into her back pocket. She retrieves a pack of gum and looks at Carly. "Well, I guess you finally won a Freddie bet." Carly shrieks as the gum is tossed in her direction, moving out of the way, and letting it fall to the floor. She then picks it up with a triumphant grin.

"Wait, I don't understand," I try again. "How did Carly win? Was it to see, uh, who could resist me more or something?"

Sam realizes I am implying that she couldn't resist me, and takes an angry step toward me. "Don't flatter yourself! I'd win that bet!"

"Oh, I think I'd do pretty well too," Carly mumbles, suddenly fascinated with the ground.

"Okay, it has been made quite clear that neither of you wants me!" You see why I get so frustrated with them sometimes? Not only do they occasionally pin me down, and confuse the hell out of me, but they think they can use me whenever and for whatever they want. Just because I'm the tech guy, or 'their nerd' as Sam would call it, does not make this true. Anyway, "Anyway, how did Sam lose then?"

"We bet to see who could get the most reaction out of you," Carly informs me.

I glance at Sam, who is smirking to herself. "But, uh, then Sam won, I guess, right?"

Carly smiles at this. "Nope, she bet that I would get the best reaction. I bet that she would." Carly turns to Sam, rubbing it in a little with, "And guess who was right all along?" Wait, Sam bet that she wouldn't get a reaction out of me? Well…about ten minutes ago, I suppose I would've bet the same thing.

Sam quickly turns her glare from Carly to me. "Way to go, you nub! I know it's hard with me and all, but you could've shown a little restraint. I mean, you're supposed to be in LOVE with Carly, remember?"

I kick once at the ground, then shift my weight and look down. "Uh, I am. That was, umm…I just…" Sam is just crossing her arms, waiting impatiently for my explanation of my previous actions. "Look, my mom never lets me eat Fat Cakes, and you're about as close as I'm going to get." For some reason, this perfectly logical explanation infuriates her.

Carly laughs as she sticks a piece of gum in her mouth. She gives Sam and I suspicious and very amused looks, then says, "Well, Spencer has been alone downstairs for more than five minutes, so I better go check on him." She pauses at the door before she leaves, then turns and walks swiftly to the other side of the room. She grabs the fire extinguisher, then exits saying, "Don't kill each other, please."

Yeah right. That seems to be the only thing on Sam's mind right now; my death. "You owe me a pack of gum," she hisses darkly.

I gulp. But I'm not letting Sam get the best of me today…then a little voice in my head says, 'too late'… Gah, she is not getting the best of me _anymore _today. "Yeah, well you owe me about three minutes of my life."

She takes an angry stride in my direction, and I find myself face to face with Sam for the second time today. "I owe YOU? Ha, good one. You're welcome for giving you the experience of a lifetime," she growls. She glances at my lips once, then pulls back a little. "And when you finally get a girlfriend, good luck kissing her with that image of me in your head."

My eyes grow wide as I mouth soundlessly for a moment. She just smirks, turns on her heal, and leaves me alone. I should be relieved, right? I mean, she didn't kill me. But I'm not relieved, just confused and conflicted.

I can't deny it, no matter how hard I try. Trust me, I want to deny it. I would love nothing better than to tell her that I hate her right now, maybe call her a brute or a psychopath, tell her I love Carly just to throw it in her face. Wait, uh, I don't say I love Carly just to piss Sam off. That's just a perk, right?

Of course it is. I mean, when Carly is in the room, I can't see anyone, especially Sam (okay, that's not true. I'm just trying to make a point. I can only wish it were true). It's not really fair to other girls, the way Carly shines. And when I look at Carly, I see everything I want, even if she is a conniving little gambler as of recent events. But she is _my _conniving little gambler. Er, I want her to be, that is.

But…but, why can't stop thinking about my throbbing bottom lip right now? Oh, probably because it's throbbing. But I'm smiling? This isn't right. It really isn't right. Hmm…actually, I just had a thought. Bear with me. Maybe, uh, maybe Carly is everything I want, but Sam is, uh, what I need. I mean, not that I need her constant sarcasm, or her criticism, or her not-so-occasional violence…yeah…but I need her to, uh, toughen me up. My mother has admittedly made me a bit soft…Wipe that smile off your face. No need to be hurtful.

Wait, I just said I need Sam. I don't. I really don't. Well, maybe…I just need her to piss me off once every few days, so the flow of my life isn't shaken. And Carly…uh, well I am going to talk to Carly about our kiss… Carly and I kissed! I still can't believe it. Though I know she will just inform me that this was because of their bet. I don't know if I can take anymore let down from her. I mean, I will always love Carl--

Gah, I need to go save my History book from Sam and a jar of peanut butter. Stupid Sam…she always interrupts the thought process of my love for Carly. Wait, hmm…she always interrupts…hmm…No! Never mind. Well, maybe. Yeesh, I don't even know what to think anymore. Meh. I don't know. These two always leave me so confused and frustrated. But there is one thing I know.

I seriously need to start hanging out with more guys.

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**A/N: Okay, thanks for reading. Uh, this whole story was kinda supposed to show how Freddie thinks like a girl (well, I only assume he does). Like, he over analyzes everything in this story, especially that extremely long kiss. Yeah, I didn't mean for it to get that long, but writing Freddie's over-thinking perspective on this was too much fun. If it were Sam's perspective, it probably would have been:** "And then we kissed, or whatever, and he was a total dork about the whole thing. Then I lost the bet, yelled at him, and went downstairs to get some ham. Fin!" **  
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**Okay, thanks. Please, leave a review. Ah man! I just spilled my bowl of cereal everywhere when I hit the 'w' on 'review'. Damn it. Don't eat Fruit Loops...they will eventually betray you...Okay, sorry about that. Toot-a-loo. **


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